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The Ones We Choose

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Lisa Genova meets 23andMe in this exploration of the genetic and emotional ties that bind, as debut author Julie Clark delivers a compelling read about a young boy desperate to find his place in this world, a mother coming to terms with her own past, and the healing power of forgiveness.

The powerful forces of science and family collide when geneticist Paige Robson finds her world in upheaval: Her eight-year-old son Miles is struggling to fit in at his new school and begins asking questions about his biological father that Paige can’t answer—until fate thrusts the anonymous donor she used into their lives.

Paige’s carefully constructed life begins to unravel as the truth of Miles’s paternity threatens to destroy everything she has grown to cherish. As Paige slowly opens herself up—by befriending an eccentric mother, confronting her own deeply buried vulnerabilities, and trying to make sense of her absent father’s unexpected return—she realizes breakthroughs aren’t only for the lab. But when tragedy strikes, Paige must face the consequences of sharing a secret only she knows.

With grace and humor, Julie Clark shows that while the science is fascinating, solving these intimate mysteries of who we are and where we come from unleashes emotions more complex than the strands of DNA that shape us.

359 pages, Paperback

First published May 8, 2018

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About the author

Julie Clark

6 books3,590 followers
Julie Clark is the New York Times bestselling author of The Ones We Choose and The Last Flight, which was also a #1 international bestseller and has been translated into more than twenty languages. She lives in Los Angeles with her family and a golden doodle with poor impulse control.

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5 stars
2,452 (32%)
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3 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 776 reviews
Profile Image for Jennifer ~ TarHeelReader.
2,293 reviews31.4k followers
May 13, 2018
5 stars to The Ones We Choose, a story of family and DNA! 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟

I know it seems like I’ve been doling out the fives lately, but this book is more than worthy. It has it all and offers so many fresh perspectives, I have to give it the full five.

When I saw that The Ones We Choose is compared to Lisa Genova’s work, I had to read it. I adored the DNA tidbits thrown in throughout the novel, and I absorbed as much as I could. Unlike Genova, Julie Clark is not a doctor; simply an author who immaculately researched and presents her knowledge in a light handed, but still important, way.

Paige Robson is the main character, and her 8-year-old son, Miles, begins to question who his biological father is...The problem is Miles’ father was an anonymous donor.

In a twist that is also included in the synopsis, the donor is planted in Paige and Miles’ lives and it’s almost as if a bomb has exploded. At the same time, Paige is processing through her difficulties with her own absent father.

The Ones We Choose is heartfelt, smart, thought-provoking, profound, poignant, emotionally-resonant, and a book I highly recommend. I know the science may be a little heavy for some, but to me, it was just the right amount and added to the originality of the book.

Thank you to Julie Clark, Gallery Books, and Netgalley for the ARC. The Ones We Choose is now available!

My reviews can also be seen on my shiny new blog www.jennifertarheelreader.com
Profile Image for Cheri.
1,880 reviews2,734 followers
June 14, 2018

”If loneliness were a color, it would be the deep purple of my eight-year-old’s shirt as he walks solitary laps around the school track.

If I hadn’t already wanted to read this by it being promoted as “Lisa Genova meets 23andMe in this exploration of the genetic and emotional ties that bind,” I would have been pulled into this story by the picture that painted. Promising writing, emotional connection and a story involving love, family, how our DNA shapes the people we are and who we become. But you needn’t worry that the talk of genetics and DNA will be dry and boring, what little that is shared is shared a little at a time,

”Just as astronomers have mapped the night sky, geneticists have mapped the human genome, the strands of DNA telling your story through every cell in your body. But it’s not just your story; the human genome is rich with thousands of years of history, passed down from mothers and fathers to sons and daughter. Those who have come before you live inside you, shaping whom you are.

“Secrets drift through time, your identity whispering like a feather across your cells. Nearly three billion particles, thirty thousand genes, the microscopic world cracked open as wide as the cosmos, reminding you of who came before and pointing toward who will come next.”


Years before, Paige Robson, a geneticist, made the decision to have a child by virtue of an anonymous donor, a decision somewhat led by her own father being absent more of her life than not. Miles, her son, is now 8 years old and is now questioning who his father is. A reasonable question, but one she isn’t certain how to answer.

When she makes a decision to change Miles’ school to a more advanced one, fate steps in and places the donor into their lives, although unbeknownst to them, at least for a while. And then Paige’s father reappears into her life, not entirely welcomed by her, a man that spent much of her childhood absent by choice, and life as she knew it begins to unravel.

The author, Julie Clark, has been an elementary school teacher for 20 years in Santa Monica, California, and her understanding of both children and the setting show in this story that examines what makes our identity uniquely ours, how not only our DNA molds us, but the DNA through generations does as well.

Lovely story, beautifully told in this fascinating look at the world of genetics, blended with a story of love, family, and the bonds that unite us.

Many thanks to my goodreads friend, Jennifer, whose review prompted me to want to read this. Her review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...


Many thanks, as well, and once again, to the Public Library system, and the many Librarians that manage, organize and keep it running, for the loan of this book!


Profile Image for Elyse Walters.
4,010 reviews11.2k followers
May 16, 2019
Audiobook.... narrated by Saskia Maarleveld

Reviews are high.....both to read and to listen to. Yet for me — there’s much that didn’t feel right about this ‘novel’ as a ‘whole’. I’m sure I would have felt the same had I read this rather than listened to it.
Saskia Maarleveld did an excellent job ‘reading’ the book.
My problem is the crafting - writing - delivery - and feeling bombarded with too many topics, issues, relationship drama, emotional traumas, and science information quickies...( short summarizations like reading from a clip board).

I applaud the author’s knowledge- but the ‘smorgasbord-fusion’ was just too much. The oil and vinegar didn’t mix well together. At the same time I’m reminded that this is a debut novel for Julia Clark.... ( kudos to Julia, PERIOD!!!).
And many readers love this book - GREAT....yet my feeling is this book could have been improved.
I like both oil and vinegar —- but I like them blended together on my salad - rather than eat 1/2 of my salad with oil and the other 1/2 with vinegar. I felt the author struggled with her ‘story/science’ smooth combination. In the end....they both fell short. The story itself was a little all over the place:
A young boy wants HIS DAD. ( sperm donor)... The mother had a crappy relationship with her dad. The mother is a single mother with fears for her child, and herself.
There are issues with the child with friends at school. The mother, too, had issues with friends. Boyfriends problems, friendship problems, emotional problems, secrets, predictable storyline, with science justifications and explanations about everything.


I don’t deny the credibility of the science research. Some aspects of the science ‘short lectures’ were more thought provoking to me than others.....but many chapters towards the end of the book felt like the author’s check list. Her ‘to do’ list of topics she planned to cover. I felt talked TO in those chapters. ( even though the topics were interesting).
I admit being interested in the following:
.....The science information about oxytocin...
.....The science data about sibling relations ...
.....The science of friends...
.....Cardiomyopathy......( broken heart symptoms)
AND OTHER SCIENCE details of quick short summaries of varied conditions....
but they were delivered too choppy. It no longer felt like this book was a novel.
Interesting facts of science was delivered like reading a spread sheet.

The characters themselves - Paige and her son, Miles were both whiny and irritating.
The boyfriend, Liam was a pushover. Why he didn’t walk away - was beyond me.

I kept thinking.....”this novel could be better!” It had potential.....but I would never have let this book leave the drawing board ‘as-is’.
“The Ones We Choose”....might have been more satisfying if the individual variables
were mixed together better....to give us a delicious meal.


I’d read Julia Clark again. I think she has potential.
Again....much to applaud her first novel.

2.7 rating..... rating up to 3 stars



Profile Image for Mary.
1,722 reviews562 followers
May 10, 2018
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 / 5

Reading The Ones We Choose by Julie Clark was like a punch to the heart for me. I don't know if I have ever both laughed and cried so much while reading a book before. What is the analogy? This book took my heart and ripped it out of my chest... I think that's it! I was literally a puddle of emotions after reading this one. Ok sorry, I'll stop now. There is just a lot of loss in the book, and it was a very sad but very moving experience for me as a reader.

Even though this book is very sad in parts and talks a lot about science, it was such an easy read for me. I started reading this book after 5 PM and finished before 2 AM. And that literally never happens when I am reading a 300+ page book. So I would also mark this down as a very fast read.

The Ones We Choose is told all from one viewpoint which is our main character Paige. She is a geneticist at a small college in southern California and has an 8 year old son she conceived by using a sperm donor. She is in the middle of conducting a study while also worrying about her son and trying to overcome her past which included a great mother and sister, but an absentee father. Because of this she is very closed off to her boyfriend Liam which ends up creating all sorts of drama.

There is a lot of talk about science and genetics in the book, and the chapters are broken up with little bits of scientific explanations, among other tidbits, some of which relate to her life. So definitely be prepared for a lot of terms, and a lot of talk about genetics. She is a female scientist and researcher afterall. I personally found it fascinating, but I know not everyone will. I am just shocked that The Ones We Choose is a debut novel, and I can tell that Clark put a massive amount of research into the book.

The Ones We Choose focuses not just on genetics and science, but also the bonds of mother and son as well as family, friends, etc. As many of you know, I don't have children nor do I plan on having them, and sometimes it can be hard for me to connect with a book that focuses on that type of relationship. But The Ones We Choose had so much more going on, and the author made it so easy for me to become invested in both the parents and the children in this book.

The only {super} small grievance I have is that I think some of the characters could have been a bit more developed. There are a few players that I wish I could have gotten to know a little better.

Final Thought: I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in literary fiction and even genetics and science for that matter. You just need to be OK with reading a lot about it because this book is full of it. You also better make sure you have tissues handy because you are going to need them! I cannot wait to see what Clark writes next and she definitely has an instant fan in me.

The Ones We Choose in 3-ish words: Poignant, Fascinating, Profound
Profile Image for Donna.
170 reviews78 followers
March 7, 2018
Wow. This book threw me for an emotional loop I wasn’t expecting. I thought it sounded like an interesting story, but I didn’t plan to relate to it so much and certainly didn’t know I would learn so much about genetics and DNA.

Paige Robson is a geneticist with an 8-year old son, Miles, whom she conceived with an anonymous sperm donor. She loves her son fiercely, and he is aware of how he was conceived. But Paige hasn’t ever really considered how having a blank paternal history will affect Miles until the day he tells her how different he feels from other kids who know who their dads are. I admit, at this early point in the story I felt for Miles, but I was also irked at the idea that it seemed that the rest of his class had two parents. In this day and age, that’s not so common any more. Luckily, the story progressed past this stumbling block, and so did I.

Paige grapples with memories of her own childhood, and the disconnection from a father who disappeared frequently for months or years at a time throughout her life. She has painted herself in a box, not letting people get too close, while trying to keep control over her own feelings and the lives of her son, her lover Liam, and herself.

When, through a remarkable coincidence (almost too remarkable, but the story owned me at this point and I didn’t care if the odds were astronomical) Paige finds her son’s father, a whole new set of problems and potential issues arise. With a tragic twist thrown into the mix, the story kept me enthralled and I finished reading it in just a few hours.

One thing that kept the book from being a simple run of the mill family story was the insertion, between each chapter, of a little blurb, definition or explanation regarding things scientists have determined about genetics and DNA. These little notes all related back to what was going on in the story, but they were also riveting bits of knowledge that not a lot of laypersons know. I was immediately fascinated by this information. It has made me consider my parents and my children, and now I want to learn even more about my own genetic history.

I highlighted many lines in the book, and for me, that’s a sure sign that I loved it and will refer back to it again. The author, Julie Clark, showed a real grasp of the family and how loss and pain can change us all, either for better or worse, and she did a wonderful job of explaining how those feelings become part of our own DNA, to be passed on forever.

Thank you to NetGalley and Gallery Books for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. I give this one 5 stars.
May 17, 2018
I enjoyed this book by debut author Julie Clark, a 3* rating from me means that I felt it was a good book for me and I would definitely rate this a 3 and ½ if the system allowed.

The blurb for the book tells a lot about the plot, maybe too much. At any rate we know that Paige is a geneticist who decided to conceive a child via a sperm donor. Paige has a significant other, Liam, and they are very connected, in love and starting to talk about the future. Because Paige had a father who was never there for her, frequently being gone for weeks, even years at a time, she is reluctant to commit to the next step of the relationship, Liam moving in with them. Things have gone well in her life, she has a great job with people that she enjoys working with and a project that she is excited about. Her little boy Miles is 8 years old and has just transferred to a new school. Because of some discussion in the classroom about the children’s background and actually making a “family tree” he is beginning to feel left out, different than the other kids because he doesn’t know his father. Paige explains, as well as she can to an 8 year old, why he doesn’t have a dad present in his life. Miles appears to be a somewhat quiet, reserved child who has some problems making new friends.

Soon, however, he meets Nick who seems to have the same interests as Miles and he is finally excited to have a friend. Paige also hits it off with his mother, Jackie, and the kids are enjoying a great friendship with play dates and they have been over to Nick’s house where they meet his dad, Aaron. Miles is very comfortable with Aaron who seems to be a very involved dad and equally excited that Nick has found a new friend in Miles.

Paige begins to notice how incredibly close the boys have become in a short time, even their mannerisms are alike, Aaron also seems to discover that the boys are both very interested in science which is his passion. Without revealing any more of the plot I will say that tragedy strikes, the friendship between Paige and Jackie falls apart and Nick is taken out of school and they both disappear with no word of where they have gone.

The author chooses to insert, between chapters, extensive information about genetics. While this may work for some readers, to me it really slowed down the flow of the book. If there had been some information I would have enjoyed it but after every chapter I felt it was a bit too much. I’m sure that the author extensively researched all of the information and it is interesting, but distracting from the main plot. I would have preferred to read a lot of the research data at the end of the book.

The other problem I had with the book was character development. I felt as though I knew Paige and Miles quite well but the other characters were not very well defined. I would have liked to know more about Liam, Jackie and Aaron. Without adding a spoiler I will just state that there were so many things that were not quite believable, how Paige’s current project is the one thing that helps her sort out her suspicions and the almost infinitesimal likelihood that she could meet her donor.

This was an enjoyable read and I will look forward to the next book by this talented author.

I received an ARC of this book from the publisher through Edelweiss.
Profile Image for Sherri Thacker.
1,413 reviews307 followers
May 1, 2018
I received this arc from the publisher through NetGalley. If I’m being honest here, i fell in love with the cover first. There’s a lot of medical terms used, talk about DNA testing, genetics, etc but I was pleasantly surprised that it held my attention throughout. I loved all the characters in the book and i loved the story as well. I really enjoyed the book and I can’t believe it’s the author’s debut novel. You can tell a lot of research went into this book. Very nicely done!
Profile Image for Rebecca.
2,730 reviews157 followers
May 3, 2019
Abandoned by her father as a child, geneticist (Paige) turns to science for an explanation.

While she was growing up, Paige's father was a "serial leaver" teaching Paige to turn off her feelings and stop caring. How did this affect her later in life? Will facing her fears of trust and intimacy help her understand her father's actions, as well as her own, better?

Paige's sister, Rose, "believes in unlimited second chances" while Paige "believe[s] in natural consequences."

Why are Rose, and their mother, Beth, able to so easily forgive their father/husband while Paige chooses to remain estranged?

"She's one of the strongest women I know, often sacrificing what she wanted to give Rose and me what we needed. And yet, I've never understood what it was about my father that left her unable to move on." - Paige about her mother

Later, single at age 38 and yearning to be a mother, Paige used an anonymous sperm donor to conceive her son, Miles. Now, at age 8, Miles struggles with not having a father like his classmates. Paige's boyfriend, Liam, tried hard to be that person for Miles but he wasn't having it. How can Paige have a future with Liam if Miles won't accept him?

Paige's work as a geneticist "studying the link between a genetic marker and paternal bonding" and the intermittent chapters about genetic science were extremely fascinating.

Since my mom passed away just five months ago, Choose was especially poignant for me. It was a quick read but packed with emotion and information about genetics and DNA. It made me laugh, and it made me cry. I am shocked it's a debut and definitely look forward to more from this author! I would highly recommend it for anyone who has had a less than stellar relationship with a parent, or those mourning a beloved parent.

"When you spend your life carrying anger around like a backpack, an extraordinary thing happens when you finally set it down. The world becomes brighter and easier."

"Those who have come before you live inside you, shaping who you are."

Thank you to the author and the publisher for an advance copy of this book! All opinions are my own.

Location: Miami, California

https://www.23andme.com/
Profile Image for Lara Lillibridge.
Author 5 books84 followers
May 7, 2018
Full disclosure: Julie and I are both contributors to TheDebutanteBall.com, a group of 5 women with our first books debuting in 2018. But even if I didn't have that connection, I would have picked up this book. I've always been fascinated by genetics—it is my "road not taken" career of choice.

Clark's intermingling of scientific facts in-between the chapters of her novel reminded me of Michael Crichton in the best way—I felt smarter for having read this book, and I love that. The snippets on genetics gave me goosebumps—they were spiritually as well as intellectually exciting to me, as I contemplated how our we are connected to our ancestors. It made me think about the world with new and less jaded perspective.

I instantly connected with Paige, the main character. I can't think of another novel I've read with a single mother protagonist—certainly I've never read one with an intentionally single mother protagonist. I am a divorced mother, so I liked this idea of an independent woman choosing the single mama life on purpose. I completely identified with the push-pull of wanting to be in a relationship yet not wanting to relinquish control or let another person all the way in.

As an adult with a complicated and distant relationship with my own father, reading Paige's struggles with her father really gave me a new perspective on my own situation. This is one of the best things we can get out of fiction—the ability to try out new ideas as we watch a character struggle with similar issues. I don't want to spoil anything, but I feel as if I grew in my understanding of myself and perhaps let go a little bit of my own bitterness through the experience of reading this book.

As for the story itself, the tension was so exquisite that sometimes I had to step back and catch my breath. I was completely immersed in the story—the characters felt so real and the story had me on the edge of my chair all the way through the ending. The writing is just gorgeously wrought without being overly grandiose. I was completely sucked in and both couldn't wait to see what happened next and dreaded it ending.
Profile Image for Donna Weber.
441 reviews150 followers
March 15, 2021
3 1/2 Stars “When someone dies, you can’t help but think in terms of last times. The last time you talked with them, the last time you held their hand, the last time you kissed them. But we’re learning that we never really lose those last times. They embed themselves in our genes to be carried forward, a quiet memory of people long since forgotten.”

Poignant and well told, Those We Choose explores relationships, especially familial and paternal, and the integral role that genetics play in their development. Blending science, heart and soul, I enjoyed Julie Clark's debut novel. I know some felt the information on DNA and genetics at the start of each chapter, rather technical or dry, I found it both interesting and insightful. There's a bit too many major coincidences to be realistic, but it definitely pulled at my heartstrings. I really enjoyed The Last Flight as well, so I'm looking forward to reading more from Julia Clark.

Profile Image for Julie Dalton.
Author 6 books265 followers
March 22, 2018
I was fortunate to receive an ARC of The Ones We Choose from Gallery for an honest review. Now I can’t wait for the rest of the world to read this stunner of a debut. The original plot combines several strands of familial relationships bound together -- and torn apart -- by DNA. The emotions build at a pace that caught me off guard, and I found myself sobbing at moments I truly did not see coming.

The Ones We Choose is about living with fear but finding courage, about being scared to love, but more afraid not to. Be prepared for a moving journey with a family built on much more than the fragile DNA strands they share. Julie Clark’s use of genetics as a driver of plot gives this story a modern relevance that will make readers question what they know about themselves, their relationships, and all the possibilities that lie encoded in their own biology.

Profile Image for Susan Peterson.
1,746 reviews337 followers
May 7, 2018
I started this book on a Sunday evening, and finished it the following afternoon...it is a compelling and fascinating book about families, forgiveness and the impact of genetics. The author does a fantastic job of bringing the main character, Paige, to life. Paige is a single mom who felt abandoned by her own father, and is so hurt and resentful that she’s closed herself off to most people, even those who love her. Watching Paige come to terms with her own pain broke my heart at times, and watching her slowly open herself up had me cheering for her to find healing, happiness, and love. Paige is a geneticist, and genetics and DNA are a big part of the story, adding a very interesting dimension. With complex characters, an intriguing storyline with a startling twist, this is a story that readers will read quickly and feel deeply. This is the author’s first novel, and I look forward to reading many more!
Profile Image for Helen Hoang.
Author 5 books50k followers
Read
May 9, 2018
Since THE ONES WE CHOOSE is categorized as upmarket women's fiction, described with words like "gorgeous prose" and "profound," and only has a minor love story, I feared reading it was going to be, for me, the literary equivalent of eating plain raw kale. (All the kale lovers out there have my full admiration. You're probably so healthy and will live to a thousand.)

This book wasn't like that at all. Instead, it was smart, beautiful, and surprisingly emotional. Paige's internal struggles really resonated me, especially with regards to her father. I'm still waiting for mine to come back, and this part of the story made me cry. Maybe it gave me hope.

I think anyone who's ever been left behind or afraid to love (and lose) will see themselves in these pages.
Profile Image for Katy O..
2,497 reviews715 followers
May 8, 2018
Thanks to the author for the review copy!

Motherhood + SCIENCE = a completely addictive novel that will make you ask yourself so many questions about what makes a family and how much you actually want to know about your medical future. I am ALL IN for any book with female scientists and I absolutely loved how Clark wove in the perfect mix of hard science with the inevitably messy emotions of parents and children alike. Highly recommended for fans of smart domestic fiction!
767 reviews10 followers
July 11, 2018
Meh. A serious and important topic. Started off intriguing, but ultimately read like a script for a Lifetime movie, so those into that would probably like it more than i did.
Profile Image for Justina.
97 reviews11 followers
March 5, 2018
Wow. I really loved this book. In fact, I read it in less than 24 hours, and I’m not sure when the last time I ever did that was.

Paige is a smart, successful geneticist studying why some men are emotionally detached from their children. She has isolated it down to oxytocin production, and the fact that some people have inhibitors that prevent it from being released from the body. Paige is trying to figure out if there is a way to stop this inhibitor, to help recreate this connection. All of this is driven by her own father, who was in and out of her life, but mostly out.

Paige is also the mother to Miles, a smart but lonely boy that she conceived through a sperm bank. However, Miles is at an age where he’s starting to ask questions, and he wants to know more about his dad. Paige isn’t sure how to navigate this, how much to tell him, how much he needs to know. Everything start to unravel quickly, though, as Paige’s absentee dad reappears after ten years, and Miles’ sperm donor accidentally falls into their life. Everything is falling apart for Paige, and she is struggling with secrets and feelings and uncertainty that any of her decisions are right.

This was a beautiful read that left me in tears at the end. I didn’t want to put it down, desperate to see where these characters would end up, anxiously wishing for their happy endings. Clark is an excellent writer and this was a beautiful debut that I would recommend to anyone.

Thank you NetGalley for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Pick this book up when it’s released in May!
Profile Image for Donna.
1,536 reviews
March 6, 2018
Great story - realistic characters, interesting story line, heartwarming, sad, funny, this novel has it all.
Paige has set up her life with her son and doesn't really let anyone in too close. Her father kept walking out on her sister, mother, and herself as they were growing up This has left a big hole in Paige.
Using a sperm donor to conceive, Paige now has an 8 year old son who is starting to ask a bunch of questions about his father that Paige is not able to answer. Close with her mother and sister, Paige thinks things are going well. But life turns crazy as Paige actually meets her donor, her father comes back into her life, and her boyfriend breaks up with her.
Can she get everything worked out? Will she get hurt in the process?

DRC from Edelweiss and Simon and Schuster
Profile Image for Danielle.
768 reviews90 followers
May 13, 2018
* Thank you Gallery Books for sending me a beautiful finished copy to read and review. *

This book follows Paige as she navigates her world as a geneticist studying a specific gene in fathers, and as a single mother to her son. When her son begins to ask questions about his father, she does not know how to answer as she utilized a donor. Throughout the book, Paige confronts her vulnerabilities and has to examine how her own father's behavior is impacting her now.

This book talks about family. About how certain experiences during childhood will affect you in adulthood. It's about friendship, and difficult choices. This book is an emotional journey. I felt invested in Paige and her experience. I rooted for her through the difficult choices she had to made, but also questioned some of the things she did.
938 reviews13 followers
March 23, 2018
The plot for this book is interesting and could be a good book for book club discussion. The characters were cliche, which made it difficult for me to empathize, though. I don't think that there are that many stay at home moms, or that in a community where they could afford to stay at home that they would not also be educated or previously worked. The idea that a child needs a dozen friends, esp. one who is more academically than athletically inclined was also a sticking point for me. Many scientific minds are not perceived as social. I also felt that there were too many coincidences to be believable. book received from goodreads contest
500 reviews3 followers
June 22, 2018
3.5 stars...mixed feelings on this book. On one hand I loved the subject matter, but I hated the protagonist. She just constantly annoyed me with her attitude. It did explore some really interesting and intriguing questions about donor children as well as some interesting questions of nature vs. nurture in parenting.
Profile Image for Marty.
1,118 reviews37 followers
July 14, 2020
I liked the science part of this novel, but the rest of the book was a snooze. It just seemed to go on for ever and had a predictable plot.
Profile Image for Lenny Husen.
971 reviews21 followers
December 5, 2019
I started this one with high hopes but have abandoned it temporarily, trying to decide if I want to finish it. The entire plot seems to hinge on at least two ridiculously farfetched coincidences.

The story is about a single mother, in her late 40's, who is beautiful and brilliant, who conceived a son with an anonymous sperm donor. The son is now 7 years old and is bright and completely tyrannical and extremely irritating. The main character was abandoned by her own father and never married because of fear of intimacy and mistrust of men.

Now suddenly and improbably, the sperm donor materializes--and has a horrible terminal genetic illness which he may or may not have passed on to the main character's son.
And the main character's sister and mother are pressuring her to reconcile with her horrible father (who is dying so his previous terrible behavior is apparently forgivable now).

I didn't like the main character's breaking up with her boyfriend (who is described as a super decent, loving man) because her whiny entitled kid stubbornly rejected him.
This was the point where the main character ceased to be sympathetic to me.

Felt both annoyed and triggered so put this aside. Might try to finish at some point.

Update: Have decided NOT to finish it and give it away to my Health Club where it will be snapped up by some skinny woman with a blonde ponytail who can do 1000 burpees without her knees aching. More power to her.

I read over 170 pages and just don't give a shit whether or not the kid will someday get Huntington's. I should care-but I don't. I don't care if anyone in the entire book gets Huntington's--as long as it isn't the hot super sweet boyfriend or the nerdy Aspie lab partner. I really liked the latter and was rooting for him to be the sperm donor father of the kid.

I even constructed an alternate plot where the abandoning father was the sperm donor of his own grandchild because I thought that would be more interesting than this story.

The phrase on the Goodreads plot description "the healing power of forgiveness" literally made me want to vomit--this is the real reason I don't want to read any more.

Forgiveness is a fine thing and definitely something that can help a person move on--but no one should be given the message "you SHOULD or MUST or HAVE TO forgive X." Nobody should be told what to feel. It should be up to the person to decide how and when they want to move on--or not.
Profile Image for Janelle Janson.
718 reviews470 followers
June 15, 2018
Many thanks to Gallery Books for providing my free copy of THE ONES WE CHOOSE by Julie Clark - all opinions are my own.

Paige is a geneticist with an eight-year-old son, Miles who was conceived through an anonymous donor. Miles is having trouble fitting in at school and starts to feel even more isolated from the other kids when he can’t answer questions regarding his biological father. Also, while Paige has to come to grips with childhood memories of her father disappearing for months or years at a time, her past keeps her from getting too close to others and it starts to affect her relationship with her boyfriend. Oh, and further complicate things, the anonymous donor gets reintroduced back into their lives.

I really enjoyed this very original debut! The story is packed with a lot of heart, emotion, and SCIENCE. I loved Clark’s writing style, and being the total nerd that I am, I loved the blurbs about genetics between each chapter. These scientific details are placed just perfectly in the book and they relate to the story as you’re reading it. Brilliant! I have a soft spot for Miles and found Paige a very relatable character. I was completely captivated by THE ONES WE CHOOSE and I found myself contemplating this book long after I finished. Highly recommended!
Profile Image for Jacqueline.
396 reviews5 followers
March 20, 2018
WOW! This is an amazing novel...beautiful, hopeful, and tear-your-heart-out sad. The storyline revolves around Paige, a geneticist, and her 8-year old son Miles whom she conceived via a sperm donor. Miles is a quirky kid who has some problems fitting in and making friends, and the fact that his father is nameless and faceless seems to exacerbate his sense of isolation. Paige has her own issues with her largely absent and disappointing father, and has immersed herself in clinical research around genetics and the impact on father/child bonding. The novel works in a good dose of genetics info that is fascinating and actually moves along with the plot beautifully. This is an amazing first novel that deserves all possible stars. Thank you Netgalley and publishers for providing a copy for my review.
Profile Image for Kathleen.
Author 2 books966 followers
May 11, 2018
THE ONES WE CHOOSE really ripped my heart out in the best way, and I just loved it. Paige is a fantastic protagonist—intelligent, compassionate, yet still flawed—and you'll hurt along with her as she struggles to protect her son, navigate her own relationships, and do the right thing when confronted with an explosive truth. It's a beautifully written, thought-provoking book, and I highly recommend it.
Profile Image for Jackie Trimble.
406 reviews6 followers
January 3, 2021
Love, love, love this book! Thank you to Goodreads for the pre-pub version to read & enjoy!! It took the genetics chapter in 9th grade for me to figure out that I hated biology and probably even science. But, I loved all the characters in this book and I even loved the science lessons at the beginning of each chapter!! I can't recommend this strongly enough.
184 reviews64 followers
April 19, 2019
I loved that the author wasn't a professional geneticist. She did enough research into genetics and sperm banks that the backstory was fully fleshed out without it being taken over by medical details.
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